Unfindable, unfireable

A friend of mine from work has recently been fired.  I was at first unaware of the reasons behind her swift removal, and as such, because we were hired at the same time, I began to be overcome by a fearful certainty that I too was for the axe.  I had taken to hiding in the toilets during breaks so my line manager couldn't get me.  I was refusing to read my post or my emails in case it was a termination of employment.  Only the other day I had to Indiana Jones-it out of reception when I caught sight of my manager, and was forced into ducking behind a bookshelf and scuttling out of the building camouflaged within a group of children.  I have essentially been labouring under the illusion that if they can't find me, they can't fire me.

But today, having accidentally opened my emails when my coffee-suffering finger hit the wrong button, I received the dreaded summons.  I crept up to the HR office at break, wondering if I would have time to vacate the premises before the weeping started.  I knocked, and was invited in.

Well it transpires that they've just been trying to pay me.  I provided incorrect banking details and they need an amendment before the wages can go in.  They weren't firing me, they were giving me money.  I'm sure once the embarrassment has worn off, there will be relief, not just at the fact that I can still actually pay for things, but also because I'll no longer have to perform anymore mad acrobatics to race out of the vicinity before my manager gets me.

Anyhoo, it turns out that my friend was fired because she was just quite atrocious at her job.  Apparently one of the reasons for her dismissal was 'eating biscuits at inappropriate times.'  I mean I feel for the poor girl but I did laugh.  Fired for inappropriate biscuit-eating.

The less said about yesterday, the better.

Not so 'nice' after all AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA